Love is....
In a perfect world I'd be working side by side with the lovely Madhuri. She wouldn't be doing the porno work anymore. If I looked up, I'd see her radient face, and even though she might be chatting to someone else, our eyes would meet and we would pass a soft smile between us. Probably in a call center in India.
Poem 2
Another poem:
"An image of you
Gives me the randies,
Your dark body,
Bathing in the Ganges"
"An image of you
Gives me the randies,
Your dark body,
Bathing in the Ganges"
Elementary Dear Watson
Oh dear! Seems that every other posts on Xpeeps says that I'm a fake. They all know this John Holmes character. Next time I'll not include the face.
Salmen-nella
Saw a picture of Salman Rushdie and his wife...she's a real hottie. And he's the same, but in the "ugly mirror". I'm feeling very optimistic.
I Dream of Curry
Dreamt about Madhuri and me having wild sex. I could actually feel her hands all over my dick, stroking and squeezing. Woke up with a start. My hand was doing the rubbing. Would have been better if it hadn't happened on the bus, packed with commuters.
Xpeeps
On Madhuris Xpeeps profile http://www.xpeeps.com/hotmadhuri I see that lots of guys just post her pics of their dicks. Kind of weird. I mean what's she supposed to do, after seeing a particular cock, jump on a plane to go and check it out? Last time I looked, penises come with a person attatched! As I don't have a camera, I found a photo on the internet and changed the name to mine. I'm sure John Holmes wor't mind.
Bingo!!
There was alot of shouting at Bingo tonight. And not the winning/losing outburst either.No. My mum was showing some pictures of the garden to everyone. Pics on her phone. Unfortunately, after having photographed my cum shot againgst the bedroom mirror, along with my grimacing face, I forgot to delete everything. Oh dear!
Family love...including the dog!
Reading the Indian Sex Forum the other night, I noticed that Indian men want to do 3 things: '. sleep with thier mother, 2. sleep with thier sisters and 3. sleep with an animal! Being an open minded sort of guy, I tied looking at both my mum and the neighbours dog, but nothing stirred in my trousers. Thank God.
Keyboard Toast
Mother surprised me last night with a cup of tea, just as I'd taken my dick out infront of my computer. In my immediate haste to 1. close my fly, 2. close the internet browser window (large pic of dildo going into Madhuris cunt) and 3. hide my used tissues, I managed to spill my beans on toast all over the keyboard. Fucksocks!
My Basted Balls
In preperation for my new found career in porn, on both sides of the camera, I've shaved off all my pubic hair. Looking at my testicles, the term "oven ready chicken" does spring to mind. Well, except for all the little pieces of toilet paper to cover the cuts. Still, when Madhuris sucking me off....who cares!
Ansel Adams....Ha!
I'm thinking about taking up photography. On her site Madhuri says that she directs the photographer. I should love to be ordered to have her suck my cock or cum in her mouth. What a job! And how dificult is it to take a picture anyway? I shall practice in the mirror with mum's camera phone.
The Nature of the Beast
Re-reading an older entry about the nature of her name, and with particular regard to the syllables, I realized that I'd missed one, and a major one at that. "Whore"! That's right, as in Mad-whore-i. Wow! I almost fell outta bed. A "mad whore"! I'm not sure I like where this is going....but I shan't turn away from the truth.
The Malvern Hills Have Eyes
Though I constantly go to Madhuris Myspace profile, and am surely tempted to write to her each and every day, I don't want to come across as some sort of excessive stalker. I see that she says that she lives within view of the Malvern Hills. Now I've been checking the map, and if I can get the car started, I'll try and find her real address. Then I'll sit quietly outside her house until I see her!
Enjoy Coke
Re the last entry, my cock is just so sore. I don't think I can stand up straight! Because I couldn't find anything to use as lube, I used some coca cola from an old bottle that had rolled under my bed. I think my foreskin is now glued to my pants.
Floppy Wrists and Disks
Shit! No internet connection this evening as they're doing some cable work in the street. And tonight are the new updates. Luckily I've saved most of the pics from her site, just in case a situation like this should arise. Though having said that, it's alittle long winded wanking to floppy disks.
One Track Mind
Last night EM Forsters' "A Passage to India" was shown on the TV. And all I could think of was Madhuris vagina!
Sticky Love Letter
The lovely, beautiful and kind Madhuri actually wrote back to me today thanking me for the job enquiry. She said that she does all the work for her site herself, even directing the photographers as they shot her. So, unfortunately there's nothing there for me. Though I was feeling abit sad, I still managed to jerk off over her letter.
John,Paul,Ringo and me!
I've started writing a song. To the tune of the Beatles "Yellow Submarine":
"In the town where I was born,
Lived a man who sailed the seas,
And he told us of his life,
In the land of Madhuris...." I'm still working on it.
"In the town where I was born,
Lived a man who sailed the seas,
And he told us of his life,
In the land of Madhuris...." I'm still working on it.
My Lonely Heart
No response to my ad in the lonely hearts of the local newspaper. I wonder if changing my name to Rancheed or something else Indian might increase my chances? I don't think mum would be too happy.
Feel the Quality
My mother has been dropping lots of hints about me not having a job. But what am I qualified to do? After some considerable thought I wrote to Madhuri asking if she needed any help with the production of her hot website. Though it's true that I know nothing of photography or web design, I do know quality when I see it. So quality control seems a natural route for me to pursue.
Add Me
Placed my ad for a girlfriend in the local paper: "Looking for Indian girl (prefer hot babe) to look after all my needs. prefer someone called Madhuri. Must be comfortable with having intimate photos taken". Can't wait for all the replies!
India on a Budget
I'm wondering about going on holiday to ....India. I was thinking that the average wage is about $1 per day, travel must be cheap. The travel agent in our High Street didn't share this opinion and suggested (quite rudely) that I spend my sad savings going to Wolverhampton...as it was about as close to India as I could hope to get for my money.
Heavy Petal
Laying in the back garden looking up at the clouds whilst the sun warmed my face and the breeze ruffled my balding hair, I turned and noticed a daisy growing next to me. Remembering a ryhme from childhood, I picked it and started: "She loves me, she loves me not". I had to go through 7 daisies before I got it right at the end.
Rock the Cock
Last night, om opening the members area of www.mysexyindia.com, my hand flew to my cock!! So many hot and horney Indian babes. I didn't know which one to concentrate on first. I masturbated most of the night and then feel into a deep and satisfiying sleep. On waking amongst crunchy tissues and with the website still open on my computer at a particularily "hot" page, I noticed that my mum must have bought me in a cup of tea. Whoops!
Be My Girlfriend
The other day someone in the pub called me "a sad lonely fuck". Well, at first I couldn't believe he meant me. But thinking about it later, whilst making my evening meal of beans on toast, I think he might of had a point. You see, though I like girls and have a huge crush on Indian Madhuri Patel, in truth, I've never slept with one. Yes, I'm a virgin! Maybe I should advertise for a girlfriend in the lonely hearts column of the local paper. I hope Madhuri will not be upset.
Would You Like Tea with That?
Four times a week when madhuri updates her website, I find myself staying up in my bedroom, wanking like a crazy person. Because my mum has a habit of opening the door without warning, usually to ask if I want a cup of tea, I have to plan my relationship with madhuri very carefully.
Bye Bye!
The goldfish has died. And yes, I did name it Madhuri. Anyway, I hope this isn't some sort of foreboding re my feelings towards you-know-who. Anyway, I buried her. On the internet I found an Indian prayer which I solemly recited before I flushed.
Someone left the brake out in the rain....
My old car broke down this morning, and in the pouring rain. As I sat there wondering what to do next, I found myself twiddling the radio dial. Landing on an Indian music station, I felt obliged to listen, though later found myself praying to be saved by the recovery people.
A Fish by any other Name
I realize that I'm thinking about Madhuri alot...well, all the time! In order to take my mind off her I've decided that I need a hobby or interest. A diversion. Passing the pet shop, I bought myself a goldfish. This'll give me something else to cherish and love. I asked the shopkeeper if the fish already had a name, and he replied that the name was up to me. Oh dear...I know where this is going.
Being Strong
After reading Madhuri's Myspace profile, I drew up the courage and decided to write to her...asking about her website www.mysexyindia.com. Now I fully expected her to be a little embarassed by my questions, but far from it. She answered everything in a matter of fact and honest way. Suffice to say: I love her more than ever now!
Value for Money
Walking home from Bingo last night, I was stopped by a dark skinned lady wearing lots of make up and perfume. In reply to her asking me if I wanted a good time, I told her maybe, and that she reminded me of the lovely Madhuri. She said I could call her what I liked and more, and all for only $20. Thinking it through, it seemed an awful lot of money just to call someone "Madhuri", so I gave it a miss and went home.
The Poet who didn't know it
I wrote alittle poem. I hope you like it.
"If I were you, and you were me,
Then I'd always be touching my Madhuri,
Looking in the mirror, how sweet it is to see,
Your tiny fingers going up inside of me!"
Errr...something wrong somewhere...
Tea For Three
Though I don't actually have a job, or even work, for that matter, I do manage my unemployment money very well. No problem for me to use the same teabag 3 times, or old newspaper in the toilet instead of that expensive soft on your bum paper. These little savings do all add up, and now I can think about treating myself to a well deserved holiday. India maybe? But then again, why spend all that dosh when I can just sit here and see all of India anyone could wish to see at www.mysexyindia.com.
Madhuri Myspace
Looking at Madhuri's Myspace profile (http://www.myspace.com/hotmadhuri), I saw that she's been listening to Snow Patrols "Chasing Cars". Now the chorus says "If I lay here, would you lie here with me, and just forget the world". Well...OK, though I'd happily lay with her, I don't think I'd waste too much time on forgetting stuff!!
